Monday, April 22, 2013

The Leaning Tower

My first Cinquain!

comely leaning,
utterly enthralling all,
childhood dream turned real viewing the,

Leaning tower of Pisa on 21.04.2013 by- RAN IN JAN

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Quest

Standing aloof on the sea shore,
away from my agitation and daily chore,
my thoughts,feeling and emotions yet to explore.
then came tumbling the turbulent wave,
vigorously roaring and heading so brave.
throwing sand, shells and wetting my feet,
ran hurriedly back to the sea,weakening my cleat.

To convey the instability  of my standing,
It came repeatedly without relinquishing.
Luring me with the faraway placidity,
assuring perpetual tranquility.
dragging me reluctantly to the profound,
obstinate me wont give up my ground.

on your side too mental exertion would not bestow emancipation,
similar was the melancholy and continued my dissatisfaction.
you are like an oasis in the desert,
to the wanderer,enduring hunger and thirst.
Happiness is within onself what I perceive,
hither and thither searched for it,of which I grieve,
I,strive to retrieve the lost joy,until this world I leave.


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Miracles Play

I have always wondered why we believe in supernatural powers. These powers are felt by very few people and hence cannot be generalized. I have read few stories of people suffering from diseases and escaping death by sheer miracle. Few escaping accidents. The reasons of which are unknown by them. Being a science student, it makes my logic and reason, really difficult to understand something which I cannot perceive. Like me there are many people, who question the existence of supernatural powers and few believe it blindly. But why we believe in supernatural powers? Because believing in supernatural power makes us feel good, comforting and consoling. People just want to believe because they want to. People believe in all weird stuff. I like the ideas of the great philosopher ‘Epicurus’, just because his teachings are simple and it has worked for me very well. So I consider him as the epitome of wisdom and with best understanding. According to him there were gods and they left. They have nothing to do with humans. But I am not convinced with that answer either. So I tend in believing myself. It makes me feel good and I don’t need to believe on any supernatural power. There is no necessity and requirement to believe in any supernatural power. But one day, something happened which made my beliefs to come under supervision and subject to change.

On 16th Feb 2013, one of my close friend, Amar, attended a marriage in Hyderabad. The function hall was close to my best friend, Vamsi’s house. Vamsi was in disconsolation about his career. His life had been sinking down since 2005. So I asked Amar to meet Vamsi. I had also talked to Vamsi that day and decided to talk with him the next day morning to discuss about his statement of purpose for his admissions. It was around 9 pm and was less than 15 minutes drive for Vamsi to reach the function hall. They had dinner together and were talking till 12 30 am. That is when Vamsi decided to return to his home. The next day, since I am 4: 30 hrs behind IST, I woke up suddenly thinking Vamsi would have come online as we had planned to discuss about his SOP. I didn’t find him online and was getting ready for my classes. I switched on the internet in my mobile and saw something around 80 messages in our friends group. My eyes were blurred and when I was reading the messages, my eyes filled with tears. Vamsi had met an accident and was admitted in ICU. He was in coma. I felt so helpless. I didn’t know what to do. I called one of my friends and cried. Called few others too and all were equally sad. Damn I felt so miserable. I blamed myself the cause of this agony to him. If I would not have given the phone number of Vamsi to Amar, he would  have never called him and there would have been no meet and no accident. He was my best friend. We had been together since 2005 and from the first day of our college, we shared an emotional rapport and were very close.  After some 10 hours he stopped breathing and was admitted in the ICU. The doctors said that it will take min 48 hours to analyze his condition and depending on that further action would be decided. In ICU he was under artificial breathing.  The doctors said that there were blood clots in the brain and it will take a long time to cure, there was infection in the lungs too and bleeding from ears. After 48 hours of artificial breathing, when he didn’t come to normal breathing the doctors decided to make a hole on the wind pipe and provide oxygen.. On the 6th day he moved his hand and he abused the nurses, who were trying to give him an injection. He came out of his coma and responded to voices from his dad. We had relief on the 9th day.  On 10th day, he opened his eyes, and could recognize his parents, remembered few things but not names of people. The doctors had lost hope on the recovery and were expecting minimum six months or may be more. Everyone including doctors were appalled by his miraculous recovery. He is now discharged from hospital and is fine at home.  Upon hearing the news, many of my friends visited him, took care of him emotionally and financially. I talked to him few days back. He seems to have problems with remembering names. He even had remembering his favourite actor ‘Robert Di Niro’. But he could remember our memories. I was happy he could remember me.  On that gory night, some rash driver had hit him and escaped .He was lying on the road and it was raining too. Some college students who were passing by saw him lying and called the ambulance. Lucky guy!!

What just happened in the last fifteen days? Something beyond human capabilities, I think. May be he would have recovered in six months or may be the side effects would have been more. But I guess there was some help from the supernatural which helped in his quick recovery. When I heard the news, I turned to supernatural because I had no one else to believe and I think, Gods have something to do with mankind. I don’t know the reasons of his/her to help the mankind. Without their help, it would have been impossible to get my friend back. My beliefs and understandings are in retrospect now. It’s still a miraculous play for me which is inexplicable. Believing in supernatural surely felt better and the outcome was pleasant.

Monday, April 1, 2013


Who doesn’t like gifts? I still like gifts, even though I am above 25. As a kid, I was so eager to receive gifts and surprises. On my 8th birthday my maternal uncle had gifted me a chess board. It was my first time seeing and owning a chess board. Until few years back, I had it with me, but lost during shifting. My father taught me all the nuances of the game. I didn’t feel it as a real difficulty in grasping the basic moves. It was easy. I and my dad played three games in total, and I had won a game. I don’t know whether my dad lost in order to avoid the torture to play me, or did I really play well. The victory had astounded me.  As I grew up, I played many games but I still remember the game which boosted my spirits for chess. When I was 15 yrs old, there was a neighbour who was quiet elder to me and was good at chess. I once played with him for almost an hour. My queen was trapped; he had made the perfect gambit. I felt sad for losing my queen to his pawn, but I didn’t give up and continued to play and won the game with my two knights and a rook. I realized that day the power of knight, rook and sensed the powers beyond the minister. That was really a very happy moment for me and it had raised my confidence. He had no hard feelings losing to a junior and we continued to play daily. It was then; I took training in the form of practice from him. I learnt different strategies. Chess worked as a puzzle to refresh my brain. In my early days of intense practice my losses had a very bad effect on me. I used to think of the same move over and over again. The chess board and the pieces would flash in my mind after the game, and the game had taken me to obsession. The suffering turned out as a profitable learning experience. I also tried playing blind. I could remember a maximum of 12 moves, 6 from each player. It was easy to remember my standard 6 moves. So effectively I had to remember the 6 moves of the opponent. My school days were becoming stringent and I diverted myself to some outdoor sports and mischief with my friends. Slowly I stopped playing chess.

After 2 years, I joined for my higher secondary schooling. Praveen, my hostel mate, with whom, I played many games. His attitude of ‘never give up’ was similar to mine which made the game between us tough. We always won the same number of games. But still I feel, he was a better player. Playing with him exposed my thinking to different possibilities and ideas. Recently I talked to him, he was surprised that I still remember our chess games and we both agreed to play again when we meet in future. In my graduation, I played with few of my friends, and myself being an average minded, won few games against them. I don’t want to give the count of my lost games. I learnt a lot of strategies from them. But I had also friends, who used to mug up the moves and strategies. They had a move for almost every move you start with. I somehow don’t like the idea of mugging up. Chess is a game of spontaneity of brain. They might be using their ideas, but when they play opponents like me, they have the upper hand. I hope the players would have practiced so much that the moves would have been imprinted in their brain.  May be that’s how chess is played at higher level, I don’t know. So in order to avoid such players, I joined There were many international players, I would say, people of all standards. It was a very good learning experience playing with them and simultaneously discussing about moves. I made good chess friends. There was a time, when I was glued to the PC playing chess whole day and discussing about it.  I still play in that site; I solve some daily chess puzzles. Though I am not an excellent player, but I can play good, and give a tough fight.  This game of possibilities has made me think of many possibilities in my real life situations. Chess refreshes me, and makes me ticking. I would have the same enthusiasm in chess which I had when I won my first. I simply love this game.