Friday, July 26, 2013

A day with Lamborghini

So, finally and finally I visited the Lamborghini museum in Italy. All the models were so much appealing to the eye. Of course they are one of the best sports cars. Of all the cars the vintage models surely looked very very beautiful and made me more mesmerized.  I got my small GT 350 , 1 of 2016 pcs souvenir. Now I own a Lamborghini too!!!! Some pictures Lamborghini  

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Death of Joy

Life teaches us many things. In the process we learn about the things which makes us happy and sad. Our experiences in life makes us think about actual ‘joy’. Many people understand the real happiness when they get old and few understand it very quickly in their life. When they try understanding the dynamics of joy, they see that the things which made them happy were always the simplest of the simple things. But due to their decisions, or influence of others or due to poor judgement they ended up in adversity. Reasons are galore, when we think of things which disrupt our happiness like desire as Buddhism says money etc. But I found something very trivial, which also kills our happiness very easily. It’s nothing other than comparison. It is just like the small atoms creating a huge explosion.

Yes comparison. We all know that, our all five fingers are different and every person is different, but still we end up in comparing. We compare our pay cheque, things, partners, fame, wealth, success and many more things. But what exactly we do, we kill our present, happiness, become jealous and angry towards the competitor. It breaks all good relations. And this anger and jealously leads us to nowhere else other than misery. I remember during my campus placements, many of the students who were not so good at academics were getting better packages than me, I was sad and angry. My mental peace was gone and I ended up doing nothing. I was turbulent and it never helped me in upliftment. It was when I had a reasonable argument with myself; I could understand my wrong doings and could correct myself. I sometimes feel foolish for being so agitated for a such a trivial thing money.

The thing which takes me to surprise is not the young people comparing, but the older people, our parents, relatives when they compare. Most of them have considerable experience in their lives to understand and differentiate between the best and the worst thing to do. But still they end up comparing. For example my roommate who has a terrible experience with his family, tells me that, his parents always compare him with every Tom, Dick and Harry. They compare his salary with that of others, academic and professional choices, etc. No one has the patience to see the path which the person takes; it is just the end result which matters. May be the Toms, Dicks and Harrys wants from life were different, and they worked hard or got lucky. But my friends dream and wants from life are different. This is so foolish, comparing on mindless basis. With this comparison since his childhood, he started to feel that he is not good for anything, he is incapable of doing things, and the whole world is better than him. He is just going into a shell, a shell of negativity. I have other sets of friends, whose parents don’t force them, those guys have focused goals, their hardships are well understood by their parents and they are most successful and they are happy persons. Everyone has a story and it is different from others. All are different.

Home is definitely the first school, if our parents have this attitude, the child too starts comparing himself with everyone he sees around and ends up in the same school of thought. The kids start thinking that by comparing they can be better which is actually not. Robin Sharma rightly said in this aspect, ''If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall, and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbour’s kids, or kids on TV. When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure you’re today self by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way.''

There are other sects of people, who say, by comparison, you get a fire in you to be successful. Well as they like to compare, let me say, none of the great people every compared themselves to their peers. Name any great scientists, players, leaders etc no one compared themselves with their peers. They would have taken inspiration or adapted to their ideologies but would not have surely compared. If they did so, they would not have been great people. As an example, Arunima Sinha,the national volleyball player, who was thrown out of the train, lost her leg and became the first amputee to climb Mt Everest. If she would have compared herself to others who are in sound health condition and still unable to climb Everest, would she have ever hiked? The power of imagination and will to do, harnesses excellent results when there is no comparison and let free. In a single family, when the ideas, dreams, wishes of the members are different how can someone be compared with someone else out of the family. If we foolish persons start comparing, who should tell us it is wrong and imbibe the thought in our mind not to do so? It is the responsibility of parents mostly, teachers and largely friends to change our mindset. If a child is always compared, it has adverse behavior on his health and behavioral problems in adolescence like peer rejection, drug abuse, depression, juvenile delinquency and school drop outs. Do we want that? We people read the biographies, quotes, sayings of all great people, and there are so many great people saying, comparison is killing, but we still do not follow them. I wish everyone could give a thought before comparing themselves and remember Mark Twain's simple words, '' Comparison is death of joy''.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Black hole of eternity

“We can't define anything precisely. If we attempt to, we get into the paralysis of thought that comes to philosophers... one saying to the other: you don't know what you are talking about! The second one says: what do you mean by talking? What do you mean by you? What do you mean by know?”----Richard P. Feynman.

One evening I and my friends went to Marina di Pisa, the rock beach. It is a very good place for a drink and to spend some time with friends. After an hour of animated talking, all my friends became silent and their eyes were fixed to the horizon.My mind was devoid of thought and the serenity was like a black hole sucking me into it. 

Friday, July 12, 2013

Dangerous ''belief''

Dad: Son, I met the astrologer today. He has foreseen bad times ahead in your life and has given you this    ring and the locket. You have to wear this from Monday after cleansing with milk and reciting some mantras. And remember never and ever remove them.

Son: I don't know why people still people believe that stones can control our fate. If that would have been the case, every one would have been wearing rings and controlling their bad times with stones and  chains.

Dad: Stop preaching me and just wear it. 

(sad and angry, the son wears it.)

(after 1 year)

Son: I don't see any considerable change in my life. I have never removed it but still, things have not got better yet.

Dad: it will improve.

Son: wasn't the whole point of wearing the stones was to make my life better.

Dad: Have faith!

Son: Do I need to have faith on the stones or on myself?

Dad: Don't act smart, work hard and leave the rest to god.

Son: you forgot to mention the stones and chains.
(angry dad, leaves the room)

Belief is so dangerous. Sometimes, I feel it can make a person to go up-to any extent to fulfill his/her belief. I see people donating blindly. I have seen people removing their thick chains and dropping in the hundi. The person looses his rational thinking before his beliefs. Other kind of people are,who believe in sacrifices. There are many conspiracies on sacrifices of people or animals to fulfill their beliefs.Due to this belief, the fraud babas have turned spirituality into a multi crore business. I don't know, whether the people who believe them are fools or am I the biggest fool in not believing them. I avoid  blind belief on things, but it is difficult to not to believe in astrology due to my family. They are blind believers of astrology and their every action is judged by astrological predictions. Can the stones seriously change our lives? Or is it the handwork, dedication, focus, fate, destiny etc one needs in defying their lives? I always wonder why the astrologer who suggests these stones and churns  money from people couldn't find an appropriate stone to change his life? Why is he still poor? I am not against astrology but I am against too much blind belief on astrology. I many times wonder why do people believe all these things? The only reason, I could think of is, it makes them feel better but I don't understand how much better it gets in having blind belief. It is better to have faith in oneself and remember the words of Confucius ''Study the past if you would divine the future''.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Expressive silence

This post is published at and can also be read here.

Summer was approaching and it was time for holidays. It is the best break of the year for any student. Like every one, I was too excited to go home, meet my friends, family, have mangoes and bathe in pools for long times. I used to share what I would do in holidays, with my roommate.He just  nods his head in agreement to whatever I say. He was unlike my other friends, who used to give a long list of things to do done in holidays. One day, my roomie and me were going for dinner, it is were I asked him, '' dont you like going home? what's the problem?'' he just said, '' there is nothing like that.'' I cajoled him for long time, assured him my full support to his problems and promised not to share it with anyone. I got tired pursuing him for long time.

Finally after a silence of 10 times, he broke the ice, '' I don't feel like going to my home, I am not close to them. They don't understand me.I try to understand them but I loose my individuality if I have to listen to them. They always think I am good for nothing,everyone in this world is much better than me. I don't take life seriously and I am chilling all the time.'' he was continuing his problems. I understood his problem.It was really difficult for me to suggest any solutions to this but for the sake of formality I told him that, he should talk to their parents more. He just phewed the thought. That night, I talked to him for about 4 hours and learnt his family atmosphere at home, his family culture and in and out of him. it was hard for me to still suggest him a pragmatic solution to his problem.

He was from a middle class family. His father worked for the Indian Navy and his mother was a  housewife. His father had worked very hard to earn bread and butter for his family and the family of his uncles. His uncles were more or less not earning much to have a self sufficient life. His father was strict and followed defense rules and regulations at home. He was a very mischievous child, since his childhood. He enjoyed playing outdoors, doing mischief. Uncle just followed the principle, ''spare the rod and spoil the child.'' My friend never stopped doing mischief and his dad never stopped using the stick. He was very afraid of his father since his childhood. That was the terror his father created in him. He was so afraid to talk to his father directly looking into his eyes. They never stayed in the same room. When uncle calls him, he used to run leaving all his works to attend to his call. If he wants something, he had to talk to his mother, and aunt passes the bill to his dad and after plenty of scoldings most of the times  the bill  gets rejected. My dejected friend had no other choice.In academics, he was not too bad either, he was good at studies, and was always in top 5 of his class. He liked reading comic books, playing cricket,talking and laughing a lot. But he was not denied all this but  had restrictions. So, when his parents especially uncle was not at home, he used to read the borrowed comics and carry forward his hobbies. His father forced him to study always and if he doesn't get rank one in class, he was beaten badly. His father used, almost all types of instruments like wooden sticks, bamboo sticks, chains etc. The chains lasted longer. And when uncle used to go to work, my friend used to throw those chains or hide them. Once he brought a half meter iron rod . Looking at the rod, he wet his pants. He tasted few shots and the very next day, he threw it. In all these years his mother had not much of a say infront of his dad. So he had his mother just as a consoling partner but could not restrict his beatings. Most of the times, he used to be with books, and hence talked less with aunt. 

In his 6th grade, uncle joined merchant navy and was out of the country for almost 6 months in a year. This was the time, he thought of it as ''freedom''. Freedom to flutter his wings in any direction. He became more mischievous. He never studied sincerely after that. His friends circle was a group of bad friends. He bunked classes and did all crazy things. But when uncle returned, he used to act all good. He cleared his 10th grade, and went out for 11th and 12th + IIT coaching in a different place. There was no family and all freedom. He just exploited the freedom. But some how he managed to enter IIT with his self realization. And while studying in IIT, his father always forced him for good job and studying and scoring very high percentage. He was completely frustrated in life. His father always told him to study well and lectured him for hours. He qualified with a decent percentage but could not get a good and '' high'' paying job like others, as his parents quote due to recession. And after that, he struggled a lot to get into a good job but his orientation of stars was a wrong position I suppose. He expected them to be like friends. Whenever he spoke of a movie with his mother, she used to tell, you should concentrate on exams rather on movies. He never dared to talk to his father about movies. He started to  feel jealously of other students who talk so well and openly with their parents. They used to share everything with them, their daily routines. My friend used to leave when his friends get a call from their family. He tried talking the same way to them, but he expressed everything with his silence.His father used to call, and sometimes the call used to last for an hour, where he only spoke ''hmmm'' and gave one word answers. He hardly talked to his parents about his personal things. He was more close to friends and was more attached to them. Spending time with them going for movies, outings etc. In all this time, he had become a good liar, he lied very easily to his parents, and it became a habit. 
He once told me,'' when I go home, they ask and I answer, then there is silence, each one waiting for the other to speak, or sometimes, some one comes, or we get a call and then all disperses. My home always has a very serious atmosphere. That's the reason I dont want to go there.''

After listening to all this, I have nothing to say. No one to blame. Father had a philosophy and he followed that. The child wanted attention and some one to talk to but had bad luck.For him, his parents are just some people whom he has to call them, mother and father. He doesn't want to go home or talk much to them. The worst part is, his parents are unknown of his true talents and nature.He is more interested in travelling, music, poetry, movies, reading, cooking.He is completely different from what he is with us and them. The biggest reason I think is  because they talk less about all this and may be he was away from home since 12 years. Its not that his parents are dead against him or don't like him, but there is friction between the relation. And the friction is enough to disrupt it.These days we see a lot of lectures and videos on parenting. There are people lecturing on parents to take care of the child, and not bother about money and fame. But people hardly do. People mix their professional problems with personal problems. What remains incomplete and  unresolved in a parent's past becomes a part of his irrational parenting. It is the worst part a child can expect. Everyone needs attention and the exceptions raise high from near and dear ones.  Whenever a parent is too friendly with the child or whenever they are too strict, the kid spoils. It is too difficult to strike the balance. It has become one of the biggest social problems. I always feel, its the onus of the parent to talk to the children when they are young and give them lot of their time. Parents should take children into their confidence and make the child feel, that parents are the best friends. Those type of children will never neglect their parents anytime in their life. well to my friend, i just told him, try talking, that's the only thing you can do, sometimes, people need to struggle to make themselves understandable. 

Friday, July 5, 2013

My vent

In one of the famous telugu movie ''chiru navvuto'' there is a dialogue which won my heart. The English translation of the dialogue is ''engineers and doctors have retirement but there is no retirement for the one who eats and cooks'' Trust me, the original version sounds much better. Well the gist of the dialogue is very true isn't it? This fact inspired me to cook and take cooking as a hobby.I am someone who likes food and is open to all sorts of cuisines.I spent most part of my life away from home and eating in hotels daily is not a viable choice.This factor even  forced me more to learn cooking. My interest from eating shifted to cooking. Being a science student,I picked up this hobby very quick as it was just like working in a chemistry lab,mixing all ingredients, waiting for the reaction to stabilize and then  savoring it. There are many variations and methods of the experiments too and it is the best part. If results of my experiments are good, I pat myself, if not, I consider it as an experimental failure.I could prepare most of the Indian dishes.I used to remember the taste after having a tasty food anywhere and learn the recipe and try to replicate the same taste at my kitchen. I started watching cooking programs in tv, reading some blogs about recipes. The best part reading others blog was the variations which they bring to a known dish. 

I am not a very good cook but this is the only thing which I am doing that I like.. Well my cooking was appreciated by the people close to me  which is my reward and encouragement to cook different varieties and try for some variations. I started spending more time in the kitchen than usual. These days, I cook some Italian, its easy, fast and tasty too. Saves my time a lot. My hobby has now become a discharge for my negativity. During the times of solitude and frustration, I see cooking as the best way to ooze out my negativity. I play some good instrumental music, or old songs or hum and cook slowly forgetting my problems and wallowing in the aroma. It is said that in order to ease our  frustrations, it is better to do meditation, but seriously I feel cooking is  better than meditation, because the utmost thing is, I love it and it needs patience for a good outcome. The only similarity between meditation and cooking is, spending time with oneself, and its the best way to  feel relaxed. And after having the good meal, I feel happy and my mind is void of agitation.