Friday, December 24, 2010

The First Step Over the Barrier

They are good friends. Just good friends. And their friendship stems from quite a common way now-a-days, through internet. They chat for really long hours and they became quite fond of each other’s company thought they haven’t met each other in person. The conversations were mostly written or through voice chat. Yet, there seemed to be a mysterious bond hat was getting stronger each day.

 Once, there came a time when she travelled out of the city and he couldn’t get to talk to her. And he sent her signs that he would be missing her. And she said cheekily that ‘hmm.I don’t miss you at this moment. When I do so, I shall tell ‘and she giggled.

 Time flew by. They were really becoming close friends. Every time, whenever one of them pings to chat, the other person would feel a blanket of happiness over him/her or rather a sense of excitement blooming from within. They shared almost everything about themselves and what happened for the entire day. Naturally, this meant that both were pouring out their feelings to one another and both acted as good receptors.

 Now, he had to travel outside for a month and he won’t be able to access internet. They could have kept in touch by sms or calling each other. The problem ironically is that when they called each other, emotions used to get suppressed. They felt more comfortable in typing as they both were not very articulate on the upfront. Hence, if they wanted to do an emotional talk or felt like thanking or saying sorry, typing was the only medium in which they felt comfortable. So, what was she going to do for a month? 

 If you do not have the one to whom you pour out your every feeling, imagine the mental agony that she was going through. She knows that his trip can’t be avoided. But at least she wanted to put across how she felt and finally how much she would miss him. But would she ever get the courage to do so? Was it so difficult to go up to him and look into his eyes with just pure affection and care and say that ‘I think I am going to miss you, my friend’ 

She really wanted to get this message across. But how, words just got locked up in her mouth. She just couldn’t verbalize her feelings, not that she forgot the grammar or does not know how to construct a sentence, but the problem was with her guts. She had absolutely no guts to articulate her emotional feelings.
This task became harder because he was also the same as her. Falters, when it comes to emotional talks and was equally bad as her when talking in front of a person. At least if he said something like ‘I think I will not find good company like u over there’ she could use that as a platform and get her overflowing feelings out.
The day came when he was about to leave in a few hours. She went to the railway station to send him off. They both took an auto to the station. That was her best chance to express him that she would miss him. He was very excited about his trip and he seemed bustling with enthusiasm. So, she didn’t want to spoil the mood by engaging him in sentimental talk. So, she also pretended to be energetic and enthusiastic about his trip. And after a while, they ran out of topics to talk and the rest of the journey was made in silence to the station. He started putting suitcases in the train. There was just half an hour before the train leaves. And he was almost prepared to get on the train. So, she told him ‘all the best’ and extended her hand to him.
He shook it firmly and said ‘thanks’. Just then, she put her other hand over him and she broke down immediately. She thought, “Why am I behaving like this? I would surely look childish”
Just then, he shook her arms…’hey, is something wrong? You seem flushed’ she just regained her senses and immediately left his hand.
The train master whistled and waved the flag. He boarded the train. “Nothing’s wrong. Just take care of yourself”, she said. As he left, she put on a very fake facade and appeared cheerful.
She was non-chalantly walking out of the railway station. She doesn’t know herself that she is slowing down, willing for the train to comeback, for him to come back. She wants to tell him that she is going to miss him badly and the reason she wants the train to carry him back, is that she already is missing him. Missing him real bad!
After about 5 minutes, she received a sms from him saying that “hey…I know this is weird but I had no other choice... I think I am really going to miss u so much. I tried so hard to get the 3 words ‘I Miss you’ from my mouth but the efforts went in vain. I knew you were like me –hard to express the emotions. But I was waiting for a miracle where you would say ‘I miss you too’. It is actually a shame that I had to depend on something so lifeless as a mobile phone to actually voice my emotions. But, it does put me at ease when you could get to know how I feel”.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm... tongue tied both of them. :) Thank God for mobiles!

    Well written.