I thought of this when my friend asked me that why some relations have a honeymoon stage and they forget the reality, how can we more practical?
We humans never live our life as we want, we always live in the perceptions or stories which others narrate us about life. Our first school which is home teaches us many things when we have not yet experienced them. And we form a story in our mind. Few stick to it, and few explore their own story. The ones who explore their own story are cautious about their life but others sooner or later realize the reality. They realize it because it is not what they wanted. Their out social behaviour is not directly proportional to their inner psychological behaviour. For such people who strike a unison between the two are the ones who explore life themselves are the only successful ones.
In most of the cases of relationships, the relationship only starts with external beauty or money or anything else. And this is imbibed in our minds from the society. When I say society, it includes home too. During an arranged marriage, a average or below average looking girl has to work her ass off to look pleasing and beautiful to the groom.We learn this from home. The movies which have largest amount of influence on us, show the guy falling in love with a girl at first sight without even knowing anything about each other. And the guy is so lucky that, he always gets a beauty with the brain. Irony is in reality that is not what happens.
If society teaches us that, then that is what we do. Earlier people used to take time and talk and then they used to fall in love, hence forth their relations used to be stronger. Now a days, charade the partner with flowery talks, rosy gifts and good looks and you are the winner. With time, this has to fade, and when it does, things go venomous. Few are wise enough to thing through this problem and go for a logical conclusion either to seperate or stay together. Such people who stay together make the strongest bond. When they think, they actually see their innerself from the exterior and know what to do. They then try to strike a balance between their external social behaviour to their inner psychological behaviour. It is when they explore themselves.
I think, the only way anyone can avoid such agitations to the mind is by thinking and knowing oneself. By being truthful to the partner and developing trust.We should be able to express in a subtle way whatever wrongdoing we do to the partner. This doesn't come easily. But by doing so we would surely develop a trust. The most important thing is we are in now way over shadowed by infatuation or in flimsy grounds. Such open behaviour would surely start from our first school, when we are allowed to express our mind and are well supported or guided in our thought processes. The mentoring part need not be in relations but can be in anything. It is the practice in petty things which would help us take good decisions for big things.
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